🧻 THE MARY PLOPPINS ORIGIN STORY, Part 1 🧻

How and Why I Became a Super Pooper

It was January of 2019 when I found myself in a place where I had been dozens of times for nearly five decades.

I’m not joking. I wanted to die because it seemed like the only release I would ever get from the recurrent case of eczema that had dogged me since the age of two.

But as they say, desperate times call for desperate measures, so I ditched the last little bit of conventional as well as the fake holistic health wisdom I had been clinging on to.

Thank God I did because it led to my salvation.

If you’ve never suffered from eczema, you probably think it’s just itchy or dry skin.

Well, you’d be wrong. It’s an unrelenting creepy crawly sensation as if being eaten from the inside out.

Eczema is like a prison sentence for a crime you didn’t know you committed.

It affects every area of your life by robbing your attention span, zapping your energy, deciding for you whether to get in a swimming pool or go on vacation, and making sure that you never have a restful night of sleep.

In short, it’s torture.

The Testing Made Me Do It

When the doctors’ lame visual assessment told me that my problem was all in my head, I submitted myself to relentless testing: blood, urine, feces, hair, skin, and muscle.

They blamed my thyroid and adrenals; food allergies; my microbiome/Candida; heavy metals; Epstein-Barr virus; lack of Natural Killer Cells; and the grandaddy of them all—my genes.

The resulting prescriptions involved:

👉🏾 Wet wraps and oatmeal baths

👉🏾 Prescription, OTC, and natural creams, lotions, and oils

👉🏾 Avoiding every food from grains and dairy to tomatoes and garlic to all plants and all meats

👉🏾 Probiotics, herbs, and coconut oil

👉🏾 Pharmaceuticals, supplements, and homeopathy

👉🏾 Detoxes, parasite cleanses, and fasting

👉🏾 Acupuncture, energy medicine, and energy psychology

👉🏾 Light therapy

👉🏾 All kinds of weird resonance machines that claimed to emit healing frequencies

👉🏾 [insert other bullshit here]

The worst is that as soon as I found something that worked, there always seemed to be a stressful event or product discontinuation just around the corner to fuck up any hopes of a long-term solution.

The real kick in the pants is that I’m a holistic nutritionist, who could help everyone but myself!

At least, I could make them feel better by following a few simple instructions.

For me though? I was barely treading water. I was drowning in a constant state of irritation.

The Proof Is in the Pooping

It wasn’t until 2019 that I finally came to terms that more testing wasn’t gonna help and realized it wasn’t all in my head, it was all in my butt!

I was subclinically constipated. I’ll explain what that means in my next article, but for now just know that you can be pooping every day and still not eliminate everything.

Here’s the thing, I realized for nearly two decades that the stale advice about fiber, water and exercise made my condition much worse!

➡️ Fiber, for example, made me classically constipated (straining on the toilet).

➡️ Water exhausted me and made me itch all over.

➡️ And exercise made me both exhausted and constipated. Furthermore, sweating sent me into the most unbearable scratching fits!

It turns out that I’m not an anomaly.

Finally, one day I stumbled across the key that would unlock the riddle of eczema. I didn’t even understand how it worked at first.

I always knew that it had something to do with gut health, but I didn’t realize exactly what that meant.

Seriously, I am a bottomless pit of shit!

And if you’re limping along with chronic health issues, chances are you are too!

But once I got the poop train on track, my whole world turned around.

As the sludge cleared, so did my skin and brain fog. Seriously, the skin on my face is baby soft now and has a more even tone.

I’m 55 and when my friend’s mom, who is only a little older than me, recently visited from Korea, she kept commenting at dinner that I don’t have any wrinkles. [skill McGill!]

Trust me, she wouldn’t have said that in 2019.

But all the other problems which had taken a back seat to the eczema also radically improved:

✅ I began sleeping more soundly.

✅ I became more easygoing (well, that is until Covid restrictions sent me into a rage).

✅ The arthritic pains and sciatica that began a few years earlier disappeared.

✅ The TMJ that I developed 20 years before due to a car accident vanished.

✅ My hair got softer, longer and silkier like it was when I was a kid.

✅ My attention span increased.

✅ And fixed a bunch of other stuff I was told was “normal.”

In short, I resolved many of the everyday complaints people are told to chalk up to age, gender, race, blue light, vitamin deficiencies or whatever simply by eliminating at least three (yes, 3!) times per day!

Now, I’m on a mission to help everyone reap the benefits of pooping in the potty more frequently.

No more:

❌ Exotic and complicated diets that make you feel separated from society

❌ Expensive medications with horrific side effects or supplements that bankrupt you

❌ Empty promises from biohackers and other gurus

❌ Fake detox protocols

❌ Rebound effects, if you fall off the wagon for a time

❌ Pricey cosmetics or hair products to mask the problems you’re suffering with

❌ Endless lab tests to send you chasing imaginary conditions

Wouldn’t You Rather Be

✈️ Spend your money on fun stuff like vacations, massages, or a night out on the town?

🏃🏾‍♀️‍➡️ Not be limited by mobility or other health issues?

🛌 Sleep soundly throughout the night?

☀️ Wake up feeling refreshed?

🏡 Own your home or vehicle? (You can pay it off much faster without medical bills. I did!)

🏄🏾‍♂️ Invest more in your interests and hobbies?

🕹️ Take control of your life?

Get Your Life Back!

The bottom line is that if it swells, oozes, is irritated, or smells, it’s your body coping with toxins that didn’t leave from your heinie.

🍎 So, if fiber, water and exercise just aren’t cutting it for you,

🤢 If you wanna know more about eliminating the deeply entrenched bodily waste that has colonized your colon,

🐹 If you want to get off the sick-care hamster wheel,

💪🏾 If you want to be a Super Pooper,

Then subscribe to this newsletter for more tips on eliminating subclinical constipation for good!

What about you? What chronic conditions are you dealing with that may have sent you to this page?

Let me know below and let’s get this party started!